Most of us have the kind of relationship with money that could easily be categorized as “it’s complicated”. Most of us have a relationship with money that it indicative of the relationship we have with ourselves. Concepts like worthiness and being deserving hit high on the scale when it comes to correlating how we feel about ourselves, how we choose what we spend our money on and how much money we feel we can have in our lives.
For men, it can be a lot simpler. The patriarchal system sets men up to succeed, literally. Their historical and cultural roles have been to be the providers so money is a clear and attainable object. Daily spending is practical and barriers to wealth are minimal. Societal permissions around ego-based behaviour means they can earn and spend money fairly easily. Or at least easier than their female counterparts. (This is not an indictment against men, rather awareness of the systems and structures that we currently live in. Men, when I talk about the patriarchy, I am NOT referring to you as individuals. Awareness of the system of patriarchy is fundamental to there ever being an egalitarian system. Please put down your defensive or worse, your apathetic responses.)
Cut back to the title of this article, ‘valuable’. How do you consider something to be valuable? There are so many definitions for this word; some quantitative, some qualitative. Some of my clients initially baulk at the price of my packages. It’s easy to scoff at style and farshun as something totally unnecessary in life. It’s easy to dismiss my services as being for celebrity only who must carry out obsessive maintenance on their brand. It’s easy to think; I don’t need that, I can carry on as I am. Easy to think all these things until I explain to my clients the value that is on offer.
Consider this; you go to your wardrobe every day. Sometimes twice a day. Pause for a moment and reflect on the feelings you have when faced with your wardrobe. Most people have an abundance of choice limited by an abundance of negative feelings including stress, impatience, frustration, overwhelm, shame, guilt – to name a few.
For many of my clients this is a daily issue. Daily.
Style and farshun seem a far-off, unnecessary and useless concept to them just now. Unachievable even.
This brings us back to the concept of value. Whenever we make positive change in our lives, we have reached a point where we consider we are worthy of something better. We realise that the effort and cost we sacrifice for the change is worth it. What we are really saying here is that we are worth it. Consider a new gym regime; you pay your fee, you attend classes. You sweat, you burn, you are in pain. But soon, you start to see results. You feel the good feels of exercise. You start to let go of the inertia and frustration when looking in the mirror because you see your body changing. You say to yourself, “this is worth it”. All the while, your self-worth climbs up a few pegs because you are showing yourself that you believe you are worthy of a better way, of better things, of a better life.
Lets go back to that moment in the wardrobe. That daily moment. Lots of clothes, no idea how to make them work together. Lots of money spent, not much actual wear. Lots of buying the same thing over and over because we don’t know what else to do. The acceptance that this the only way it can be. An acceptance that fashion and style isn’t for me.
Enter Adele.
What I offer is not necessarily a one-way ticket to the fashion elite. It’s also not coming into your wardrobe and pillaging it of all the things, Trinny + Susannah style. (Though I loved this show, it was designed to be entertaining for the masses. Obvs not a priority here.) It’s also not telling you that the way you currently dress is disgusting and you must adopt all my tricks immediately or you will die. That is not value. Nor valuable.
The value of what I offer, in fact, is that those many moments of torment around clothes can be turned around to be moments of triumph. Those times where you accept outfits that don’t really say who you are can be replaced with easy-to-wear clothes that speak to the unique and gifted person you are. Shopping can become a thing you win at rather than a thing that feels is designed to crush your soul, your self-esteem and your bank account. Instead of hiding your perceived flaws you learn how to accentuate the things you love about your body. Heck, you actually realise there are thing to love about your body.
Ever had a coach, a mentor that has pierced through the darkness of an ongoing struggle you’ve had and offered wisdom to you in a way that lifts the veil and the light floods in? That’s what happens in your wardrobe when you’re with me. I hold a metaphysical and literal mirror up to you and say; “hey, all those insecurities you’ve been holding onto so tightly, you can let them go, they don’t serve you.” I help you to see what I see…someone who is worthy of their life.
Nothing elevates your self-worth than knowing that what your wearing demonstrates your high self-worth. It’s a system of positive reinforcement. That is the value I offer and its applicable to everyone.
Stop thinking that just because you are not ‘fashionable’ that you are excused from looking like your ideal self. From having an easy-to-navigate wardrobe. From knowing how to shop for yourself. You are a human, you wear clothes and if you’re wearing clothes, you may as well do it right.
My trained methods allow you to take what you have learned with me and carry on with your great personal development journey. You’ll be surprised the things you see and feel when you consider you are worthy of spending money on something valuable to you. People will ask if you’ve been on holiday. You’ll speak up more in meetings. You’ll make better choices around who is in your life. Why? Because every day you are reinforcing that you are valuable.
Which, of course, you are
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